He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
