3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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