I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
