We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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