still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
