i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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