Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize