S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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