fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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