I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
