In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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