Can Purell be used as lube?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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