Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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