my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize