I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
