you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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