just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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