You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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