so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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