We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
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