she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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