ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
