His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
