dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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