i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
