Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
