I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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