I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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