id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We named our party play list daddy issues
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
