i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Pants are for mortals
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
