Dual....:-)
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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