she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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