im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
