What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
