garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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