It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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