I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I can't put those talents on a resume
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
