I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
