So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
