it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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