I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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