Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
