I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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