fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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