Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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