the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
where are you?
Hypothermia
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
