I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just high enough for therapy.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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