So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
