I hope mine doesn't look like that
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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