the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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