I cockslap morals
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
