So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
The adults are the big ones right?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
