There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you win again, gameday.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
