i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
