Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
