break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
