from now on my penis is your penis
Please, let me fuck your mom
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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